"For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction." ~ Cynthia Occelli
"Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan the flames." ~ Rumi
This week I thought a lot about cleansing... spring cleaning... letting go... transformation.
It has been a potent year for me in so many ways - a year of transformation. I have been (and continue to be) the seed; rent open, changed. And I am also the same. I am changed and I am more me than ever. I am whole and broken, empty and full. I am one thing, and I am many. And I am growing.
I find myself sitting here now, asking "Okay, so if this has been a year of transformation, what have I transformed into?" -- but now that I really think about it, I'm not sure that there can actually be an answer to that... Does transformation have a beginning and an ending? How do I know when it starts and then when is it over? Or is life just a constant evolution?
Is transformation like the ocean? At times fraught with massive waves, the water churning relentlessly underneath, and other times subtle, quiet, lovingly pulled by the moon... but never still - always in motion, shifting, changing - a perpetual transformation? ... Right now, I am the ocean.
Hm... And I am also fire.
I just sat here and wrote and erased probably 4 different descriptions about how transformation is like fire before I realized that I was basically re-writing everything I just said about the ocean. Fire and ocean are quite similar. They can be powerful, raging, destructive: a surging tsunami, a ferocious wildfire. And they can be graceful, warm, sultry: the steady tides, a simple campfire.
The photograph at the top of this post felt so perfect... the infinite ocean... the fiery sun... and me.
I'm still riding the songwriting wave this week... or maybe I'm stoking the songwriting flame? (Hehe) ... Anyways, this one came in a zippy, lightning-bolt-to-the-head kind of a way just now. The idea of this song has definitely been percolating for about a week now, but it was nothing more than that - an idea. I'm so grateful it unveiled itself tonight.
*Its just audio this week, sorry folks! :)
Ashes & Feathers
I pull my dress over my head, put it on the pyre with the rest. I stand in my skin beside it all. I light a match and watch it fall. Oh... I watch it fall.
The flames climb higher, they crackle and scream. Your words burn away with my lingering dreams. I step my body into the blaze, the heat of the burn, the fury of the flame. Oh... the fury of the flame.
Oh but after I die, then, then I'll rise. I'll be clean of heart and clear, clear of eyes. I'll spread my wings, I'll spread them wide. Ooh... and take to the sky.
And on that day when finally you return, all that you'll find of me here are ashes and feathers, and embers that burn.
Two more blessings left... this is really it! Its the beginning of the end!